Sunday, April 15, 2007

Incident at Kenosha

Iowahawk revisits the epic story of how radical Lutheran’s kidnap British sailors from Lake Michigan and the resolution of the crisis through the courage of capitulation. I believe we all recall that fateful day in the waters off Kenosha.

Midwest Peace Breakthrough: The former captives' ordeal began Tuesday, when the British destroyer HMS Chamberlain was conducting joint training exercises with the US Navy at Great Lakes Naval Training Station on Lake Michigan, just north of Chicago. According to insurgent naval commander Chuck Sorenson, the vessel strayed into Lutheran territorial waters.

"Oh yah, dey were totally on the Wisconsin side," said Sorenson. "I was tossin' some empty driveway patch cans out dere in my storage shed and I could see 'em out dere on da lake, big as day."

Sorenson's account was disputed by British Minister of Defence John Reid, who pointed to GPS records locating the destroyer 20 miles southeast of Kenosha. Whether or not the ship was in technical violation of Wisconsin territorial waters, Cambridge University Midwesternologist Geoffrey Pickering said the Navy was ultimately at fault for failure to recognize local culture and customs.

"Straying anywhere near their waters would be seen as a provocative act," said Pickering, writing in London's Daily Mail. "These are a proud and fierce people, who jealously guard their walleye spots." … "Fighting back was not an option," Puddeley explained after this morning's release. "These men were brandishing Leinenkugel and deer scent. Resistance would have ultimately led to anger, misunderstanding, and potential unpleasant confrontation."

Word is the BBC is planning a twelve part series about the “Incident at Kenosha” which will lay the blame completely on … well you know.